Whether you’re a pet owner or fur parent, puppy love is real

On Mother’s Day, as I struggled with the cold autumn morning in Melbourne, I walked my dog Spark to the nearby garden. A fellow dog owner smiled at me with her pug in tow, saying, “Happy Mother’s Day, Fur Mum.” I was surprised by the greeting. It was the first time I’ve ever been greeted on Mother’s Day. I smiled at her and awkwardly responded, “Happy Mother’s Day too.”

I have been a dog owner most of my life. But now I have a title: a fur mum. Yet I still felt uncomfortable with the Mother’s Day greeting.

I already imagine readers thinking, “You’re not a mum. Spark’s not a human.” I anticipate the angry reactions from others saying, “Caring for a pet is not the same as caring for a human.” I get that, and I agree. It is different. Dogs live for a decade or so. Birthing a human is a lifetime commitment. Caring for a dog is much easier and cheaper.

Dogs are members of our family. We feed them, bathe them, groom them, play with them, walk them, pick up their poop, and bring them to the vet when they are sick. We love them.

When I was working my first full-time job many years ago, I arrived at work one morning sobbing. Our family dog, Chunky, had just died. My boss looked at me, worried something bad had happened. When I told her our dog passed away, she replied, “It’s just a dog.” That hurt deeply. To me, he’s not just a dog.

Recently, a friend’s senior dog got sick and passed away. Her boss allowed her to take time off to attend to her dog. He was an understanding boss. But pets are not counted as immediate family or a member of the household under the Fair Work Act. This means you can’t use carer’s leave to take time off to look after them or compassionate leave if they have passed away. Research now says that losing a dog is comparable to the loss of a human loved one.

Humans seek other people as a source of comfort, to enjoy their presence, and miss them when apart. Research found this to be the same case with relationships with pets. But there are people who have deeper bonds with their pets: those who need assistance pets, isolated or older people, and those who have been hurt by other humans. When I see a person so deeply connected to a dog, I am almost certain they’ve been hurt deeply in life. They have given up on humans and have found pure, unconditional love from a dog.

Not everyone will understand the deep bond between dogs and their humans. I am also not expecting to receive the same benefits that human parents are afforded. Perhaps all I ask is a bit more compassion and understanding. We love these beautiful creatures and they love us. Our dogs make us better humans.