I used Asian chilli oil to season the Italian pasta my husband cooked for me. He said my disregard for cuisine authenticity was rude. Is he right – or just a massive snob?
P.H., Clayton, Vic
According to legend, Marco Polo brought noodles back from China and, in doing so, started the first Italian pasta-importation business (along with his other successful business ventures: his Polo golfing-shirt company and his invention of a kiddies’ pool game that annoys the hell out of neighbours).
If this legend is true, then Chinese noodles and Italian pasta are essentially the same thing. Therefore, it should be okay to season your pasta with Asian chilli oil in the same way it should be okay to season your beef and black bean chow mein with olive oil, rich tomato sauce and pecorino cheese shavings.
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But if the legend isn’t true – and I’m sure it’s not – then your husband is totally right, even though he’s also a massive snob. ALWAYS RESPECT CUISINE AUTHENTICITY AND STOP MIXING TOGETHER INCOMPATIBLE FLAVOURS!!!! Sorry for yelling, but when it comes to preserving Asian cuisine’s racial purity, I’m an intolerant, extremist food-fascist: the Nazi Göring of nasi goreng. Just last weekend, I cooked an Indian fish curry for a dinner party – and my wife brought out olives and Mediterranean dips for pre-dinner nibbles! I tried grabbing the nibbles plate and knocking olives out of guests’ hands, but too late. Pips had been spat and an entire subcontinent disrespected.
So no more Asian-ifying your Italian food. Asian chilli oil should remain an Asian flavouring, and Italian pasta should remain that item you see on Italian restaurant menus where you say, “Linguine? I’m not ordering something I can cook just as well at home. I’ll go the pizza.”
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