Should you slam your ex like Miley and Shakira or stay quiet?

From heartbreak queen Taylor Swift, to Justin Timberlake’s post-Britney Cry Me a River, the art of the breakup song is a well-known trope. Over the weekend, Miley Cyrus and Shakira shared their own versions. But it’s not only celebrities who are grappling with public breakups today, with social media giving everyone the ability to divulge the details of a split if they wish.

So how do we know when, what, and how much to share after a breakup? Nicole Colantoni, a relationship coach based in Sydney, has worked with influencers to craft breakup announcements. “Don’t overshare, don’t publicly shame, and don’t disrespect your ex,” she says.

Miley Cyrus’ new single, Flowers, has led many fans to suspect the track is about her ex-husband Liam Hemsworth. The couple began dating in 2010, and married in December 2018, before splitting less than a year later.

Fans have pointed out that Flowers bears a striking resemblance, both tonally and lyrically, to Bruno Mars’ When I Was Your Man. Cyrus posted a video dancing to the song on her wedding day in 2018, while others have speculated that Hemsworth dedicated the song to her, although this has never been confirmed. In the 2012 song, Mars sings, “I should have bought you flowers/And held your hand”, and in Flowers, Cyrus sings, “I can buy myself flowers” and “I can hold my own hand”.

In the song’s opening verse, Miley alludes to the 2018 wildfire that destroyed their California home. “We were right ’til we weren’t/Built a home and watched it burn,” she sings. In an 2019 interview with Vanity Fair, Cyrus credited the tragedy with pushing her and Hemsworth to tie the knot.

The music video was also filmed in the Los Angeles mansion where Hemsworth is thought to have had an affair. Cyrus is pictured working out and joyfully dancing inside it, as if to reclaim the space of her trauma. And if that isn’t chaotic enough, Cyrus released Flowers on Hemsworth’s birthday.

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Also dragging their ex through the mud in a very public manner is Shakira, who released a record-breaking diss track last week. The Colombian singer split from her husband of more than a decade, football player Gerard Piqué, last year. Piqué has since started dating 23-year-old Clara Chía.