Should I have cut the wedding cash after being cast out from the front table?

We were invited to a close relative’s wedding reception. Upon checking the seating chart at the venue, we took our seats at the front. But the groom came over and said we needed to move to a table at the back since there’d been a mistake. I removed 25 per cent of the cash we were to gift the couple. Was this the right decision?
M.K., Pemulwuy, NSW

A: So, according to your theory, the value of a wedding gift should directly correlate with the seating placement of the guest. Which means being seated up the front deserves 100 per cent of the gift, being seated at the back deserves 75 per cent of the gift and being seated at the kiddies’ table near the bathroom door that bangs into the back of your head deserves a card and a $10 scratchie.

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And I’m fine with that. I agree: why should you give 100 per cent of a gift’s value if you’re not being 100 per cent guest-valued? I mean, the indignity of what you went through: the forced eviction, the slow walk of shame, the smirky side-glances from relatives who were seated closer. It’s a wonder you gave any gift at all – that you didn’t just storm out of there, yelling, “This wedding’s a sham! The bride’s a gold-digger! The groom’s a dud in the sack! And worst of all, it’s a cash bar! A cash bar!”

But I’m glad you didn’t storm out.

You maintained your dignity and decorum (apart from huddling up the back with your partner, doing 6th grade maths and sneakily counting off cash notes under the table). And luckily for you, you gave a gift of money. More tricky would be removing 4 plates from a 16-piece dinnerware set, or two pillowcases from a bedroom-linen bundle, or ripping off exactly 25 per cent of the roses from a very nice rose bush.

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