‘No one had ever asked me a question like that’: Hetti Perkins on artist child Thea

Hetti Perkins, 57, an art curator and writer, and her daughter Thea Anamara Perkins, 31, an artist, are Arrernte and Kalkadoon women. Theirs is a close and loving relationship, but it almost came unstuck in the Louvre.

Hetti: When Thea was born, we called her “Spooky” because she was a spooky little baby – quiet, watchful, observant and nocturnal. I still call her Spook. It suits her looks as well – her beautiful porcelain skin, dark hair and dark eyes.

Thea’s a mix of light and dark, of contrasts. She was a calm, thoughtful child, but if something excited her, some creative stimulus, she’d have an almost visceral reaction. She’s still like that. Her older brother Tyson sees her at music gigs getting on stage and crowd-diving. I’ve tried to encourage the perceptive, introspective side and help her manage the frenetic, creative side.

She was very serious about drawing from a young age – she’d get all bent out of shape if the colour wasn’t just right. She also writes beautifully and a lot of her drawings had text in them, too. She once drew a person laughing with a little riff about what laughter is. She likes people to engage with her art, to give her feedback, because she puts so much of herself into it. It’s been wonderful for me to be able to do that. Even now, she’ll send me photos of works in progress and ask my opinion.

“It’s been intriguing for me as a parent to raise this almost otherworldly creature. I’ve had to work out how best to support her to live a life not bound by convention.”

When Thea was 13, I took her to Paris on a work trip. She was in her element, skipping down boulevards, looking like she belonged there. She insisted we visit every art gallery and museum, and she’d get frustrated if I couldn’t maintain her level of interest. In the Renaissance Hall at the Louvre, she kept giving me mini-lectures about the artists until I just had to sit down. “What have you got against the Renaissance?” she asked me, very loudly. No one had ever asked me a question like that before.

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Thea’s very empathetic. For years, she had no contact with her dad, who has mental health issues and has been homeless. When we found him again in her teens, she was keen to hang out with him and have him understand that she accepted who he was with no judgment.

Our house was always full of interesting, creative people and Thea loved engaging in deep, intellectual conversations with them. Not everyone has that attention span, especially not teenage girls, so she struggled at school. Because she’s so compassionate, it can be hard when people don’t show her the same sensitivity. She’s learnt to manage her expectations.