Abha Chaudhary
Etiquette also means to ask. Ask first if it’s the right time to talk, if you suddenly picked up the phone to connect with a family or friend or colleague or client and then continue. No, this is not being too formal. It only conveys that you are considerate about the time of others. And consideration is the underlying sentiment of etiquette, especially these days in the work-from-home scenario and hybrid mode of work.
To get an unexpected call can really throw most of us in an array of scatter. Don’t assume that others will be free to have a conversation with you. Ask if it’s okay to talk now and let them choose. You really think that the other is also always available to talk? Maybe not! Maybe your friend could be involved in something more important or urgent and does not make you feel too welcome. This starts another story of feeling hurt and brew misunderstandings in a relationship. If the intent is to talk with people and not talk at people, then the best options are to drop in frequent messages to show you care for the other and agree on a mutually convenient time to connect. Trust me, the interactions would be more enriching and fruitful.
Be polite
You are missing a friend or a near one and plan to arrive at their place unannounced, just like that! Oh, dear no! Ask, when it would be really comfortable for them to meet you. Whether at their place or yours or at a common place – agree on a time and day. The rendezvous would be so much more relaxed, composed and refreshing. It’s never good etiquette to invite yourself over. Etiquette is all about reducing irritations and frictions in relationships as much as we can.
A friend invited you to a cruise party or a birthday at a fine dining restaurant. Remember such soirees cost your host, so do not get too exuberant and take another friend along. Ask your host. What if your friend is not so special to them? What if they are working within a budget and inviting too many distant acquaintances can upset their maths? Asking doesn’t make you small in any way, but it makes the other feel very special in a big way!
(Chaudhary is a Chandigarh-based image and style consultant)
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