Outcomes from this vary greatly, and include “single ownership, shared ownership, shared custody, visiting rights and even ‘farewell ceremonies’ where one gets to spend some time saying goodbye to a cat. ” In some cases, these outcomes can be made into a binding order.
Herbert has also helped couples include a pet in the terms of pre-nuptial financial agreements that outline the “arrangements, rights and responsibilities of each party in the event of a relationship breakdown”.
A year after Tessa (who prefers not to disclose her last name) and her partner got their labrador puppy, they split. The pair have been successful in negotiating shared custody. Every afternoon after work, Tessa walks over to his house to feed and walk the dog. Once a week, the dog will visit Tessa, who lives in an apartment, for a sleepover. They split all costs evenly down the middle.
While the couple used lawyers to divide up their assets (including the house they had owned together, which her ex now lives in), the breakup was amicable enough that lawyers were not needed when it came to the dog. “My ex and I had quite a drama-free breakup and have managed to stay friends, but in saying that most of the time we only ever talk about our dog.”
Tessa trusts that her ex will remain faithful to their agreement, however, she does sometimes worry that a new girlfriend may not be happy with her visiting so often.
For Jill (who’d prefer not to reveal her last name), leaving her two oriental cats behind was done partly out of sympathy for her ex. The couple split after Jill decided to relocate from Melbourne to Sydney for a job. He was “pretty devastated and not coping well with the breakup”, especially as it coincided with the death of his mother. “I didn’t want to break his heart any further.” Jill also adds that the breed of cat meant they were extremely clingy, and might not fare well with a separation, especially if they were to move to an unfamiliar environment.
Loading
Often forgotten in such situations is the effect of a separation on the animal. Jacqui Ley, a veterinary psychiatrist at Melbourne Veterinary Specialist Centre, emphasises that there’s a “bigger picture than just the two owners involved”, and urges couples to carefully consider the needs of their animals when negotiating custody.
The separation of a household can be disruptive and extremely stressful for an animal, even in amicable separations. “Animals may lose their home and have to adjust to a new environment, or lose contact with someone who they had regular contact with,” she says. Companion animals can also be divided up between partners, causing greater emotional stress.
In more acrimonious breakups, a separation might actually be a relief for the animal. Pets can pick up on tension, psychological stress and physical violence that can be frightening. Joanna noticed an improvement in the dogs’ move following her breakup. The “tension in the house towards the end of the relationship was huge. The dogs could definitely pick up on it.”
Ultimately, “People need to buck up and think about the welfare of the animal,” says Ley, which may mean making sacrifices, such as organising to come and walk the dog during the week.
Things to consider when sharing a pet with an ex
- Both parties need to commit to agreement while being aware that it may need to change. “It needs to be flexible – life gets in the way,” says Lley.
- Ensure that each party understands the pet’s needs – e.g. consistent feeding and exercise – and sticks to it.
- Think about whether an animal will have its own space, and if it will have to cohabitate with other animals.
- If only one partner is registered as the pet’s owner, consider giving them sole legal responsibility in the event of an accident or attack.
- A vet needs to be decided upon, as well as who will pay for the bills. If someone is away or can’t be contacted when an accident happens, then that can all be dealt with. Having this all worked out also helps with smooth communication with professionals.
- Make sure that the animal will be looked after, and consider whether shared custody will be a good thing for the pet. Think about how long the animal will be spending alone each day, and whether it will have to cope with a change in environment (e.g. from a house to an apartment).
Make the most of your health, relationships, fitness and nutrition with our Live Well newsletter. Get it in your inbox every Monday.
Stay connected with us on social media platform for instant update click here to join our Twitter, & Facebook
We are now on Telegram. Click here to join our channel (@TechiUpdate) and stay updated with the latest Technology headlines.
For all the latest Life Style News Click Here
For the latest news and updates, follow us on Google News.
Denial of responsibility! NewsAzi is an automatic aggregator around the global media. All the content are available free on Internet. We have just arranged it in one platform for educational purpose only. In each content, the hyperlink to the primary source is specified. All trademarks belong to their rightful owners, all materials to their authors. If you are the owner of the content and do not want us to publish your materials on our website, please contact us by email – [email protected]. The content will be deleted within 24 hours.
