How did the three wise mobsters launder money at Christmas?
They looked for The Star!
How do you get into Mar-a-Lago without paying $200,000 to join?
A search warrant!
Boom-tish!Credit:YouTube
What happens when Greens MPs get together for a joke?
Bandter!
Why did Harry and Meghan make a documentary for Netflix?
Because Sussex sells!
What’s Simon Holmes A Court’s favourite takeaway order?
A teal deal!
Which seabird would rather travel by fast train than fly?
An Albotross
What’s the difference between Santa Claus and Peter Dutton?
One lives at the North Pole; the other’s polls have gone south!
What’ll the immunisation policy be at next year’s Australian Open?
They’ll allow Novaks!
Why did the Victorian Liberals look for a new leader who doesn’t blink?
Because Dan Andrews’ biggest vulnerability is stairs!
What’s the one card NSW Labor won’t send anyone this Christmas?
A cashless gaming card!
What did the AFP call its dossier on George Christensen?
The Manila Folder!
What did the volunteer flood rescuers in Lismore have, and deserve a lot more of?
Tinnies!
On election day, what happened to the Coalition’s vote in Warringah?
It was Deves-tated!
What’s the easiest way to get yourself onto the internet in 2022?
Be an Optus customer!
Who lost the Victorian election?
Some Guy!
Why shouldn’t you play Cluedo against Brian Houston?
He won’t tell anyone that the Reverend did it!
Which economic indicator did Josh Frydenberg lower significantly, then increase by one?
The unemployment rate!
What’s riskier than self-driving mode on a Tesla?
Putting Elon Musk at the wheel!
Why did David Littleproud address his party room in mime?
Because he’s opposed to the Voice!
What’s the least popular festive food in Ukraine this year?
Christmas Putin!
What do you call a festive gathering that ends early because the host’s over it?
A Barty party!
What did Scott Morrison destroy during the election campaign?
Would have accepted “the Coalition’s primary vote” or “April Sun In Cuba”!
Why did Medibank Private change its name to just plain Medibank?
They can’t keep anything private!
What will FTX founder Sam Bankman-Fried do in the new year?
Time!
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