Ask Amy: Uninterrupted conversations lead to monologues

Speakers might not be able to read your social silence as politeness, and if you aren’t occasionally offering an “Oh yes, I know exactly what you mean” or a “Well, I understand your point of view, but I beg to differ,” then you are not really inviting a conversation, but settling in as audience members for a monologue.

Fortunately, it is not vital that you and your husband have the same conversational style. You might be a more engaged and lively listener, where he enjoys and is more comfortable enclosed in his bubble of self-righteous silence.

A spouse, partner or family member can be extremely helpful in offering gentle (sometimes, not so gentle) course-corrections, because they observe social interactions with an intimate knowledge, and they notice patterns in behavior. Your husband can make suggestions, but he does not have the right to dictate how you should communicate with other people.

His own rigid listening style shows an impressive amount of tolerance toward other people. He should apply a measure of that to you.

Dear Amy: Why are so many middle-aged folks/baby boomers resistant to mental health care?

While millennials (like me) openly seek help for our issues, we watch our parents go in circles with the same issues — emotions, stress, social dysfunction ─ and insist they don’t need help.