‘A fast-tracked connection’: Why Georgette chooses to date sober

“Even if I am in a period where I’m drinking, at this point in my life, I really prefer to have those initial interactions sober,” she says.

“The value of doing a sober date is that I reckon you can really fast track your connection and your feeling of whether you genuinely want to spend more time with that person.”

And while she’s not against going to a pub sober, she finds it’s usually awkward for her date if they’re drinking and she’s not.

Instead, she usually suggests an activity like a walk or a game of Finska.

“Realistically I’m going to spend 87 per cent of my time with that person sober, so why wouldn’t we just spend the first time sober and then go from there?”

Sydney dating coach Russy Ross, of The Social Collective, has also seen a rise in more creative dates during lockdown, which by their nature (and often time of day) don’t rely on alcohol.

While Ross is not against imbibing, he says sober dating helps with an important component of dating: building comfort with the other person.

“Everyone’s going on walks, they’re talking more – you’re talking, you’re sharing, you’re connecting a lot more,” he says.

Should you be upfront about the fact you don’t want to drink on dates?

In Boehm’s experience, declaring your booze-free status on your profile can lead to “crickets”, so she usually prefers to discuss it in-person if necessary.

“My experience of giving that off through the screen is Australia has this pack mentality,” she says. “It’s like if you don’t drink you’re boring, or if you don’t drink I don’t trust you.”

“It’s like if you don’t drink you’re boring, or if you don’t drink I don’t trust you.”

But Ross says stating you don’t want to drink upfront should help filter out anyone who’s not open to that idea.

“When it comes down to dating, you want honest communication – you don’t want to date a guy that is upset because you don’t drink, or you choose not to drink,” he says.

And while a few drinks undoubtedly helps with the liquid courage, Ross says there’s other strategies to keep the nerves at bay.

“It’s just not setting the expectation – maybe it is that coffee date, the shorter date, where you don’t have to bring too much to the table,” he says.

Loading

“You’re not dating them because you like them; you’re dating them to find out if you like them. That takes a little bit of the anxiety away.”

On follow-up dates, you could take your dog on a walk, do a dance or cooking class, go kayaking, or visit a museum or gallery to make things interesting and comfortable.

And if you’re worried no one will make the moves?

“I know personally if I’ve got a few more drinks under my belt, I’m way more likely to be more confident, to ask for a second date or go in for a kiss,” says Bumble’s Lucille McCart.

“But if you’re doing that sober, it’s actually a way more empowering experience.”

Make the most of your health, relationships, fitness and nutrition with our Live Well newsletter. Get it in your inbox every Monday.