Dating on a budget: How the cost of living crisis is affecting our love lives

“It’s challenged people to connect based on who they are, rather than what they have to show,” Kempson says. “Not being able to go on grand dates to woo someone with, you’re put on the spot to showcase your communication skills, your values, your ability to navigate stressful times.”

Though some use restrictive times like these as an excuse to skip the dates and jump straight to sex, Kempson says others are using it as an opportunity to date more intentionally.

Instead of the classic (and perhaps overdone) “dinner and a movie”, singles are suggesting more personalised, intimate ideas, such as a walk in the park, a trip to a farmers’ market, a swim at the beach or a stroll around a free art exhibit.

According to a Tinder Australia survey conducted by One Poll in April 2022, nearly two-thirds (62 per cent) of singles said their ideal date was going for a walk or grabbing a coffee. Meanwhile, only a quarter of singles (26 per cent) preferred dinner at a swanky restaurant.

Eddie Harb, 28, says the tightening of his purse-strings has forced him to be more creative when planning dates. “It’s somewhat of a blessing in disguise as it pushes me to come up with an experience that fits my date’s interests and temperament.”

Based in Frankston, Harb’s go-to date is a walk around his neighbourhood with a coffee, as it provides him the opportunity to chat with his date without the distracting noise of a restaurant or the pressure of a bill hanging over his head.

Jacob Lucas, 23, cuts costs by having a few glasses of wine at home before a date, saving himself from forking out $30 to $50 on drinks at a restaurant or bar.

“During the date, I space it out,” Lucas says. “I have one [drink] in the first hour, and then I’ll see how I feel because I don’t want to spend on drinks for a date that I don’t like.”

Sober dates have also become more common in a bid to spend less. Tinder’s Future of Dating report revealed 88 per cent of Gen Z singles surveyed would consider not drinking during a date this year.

Lucas, who is based in Sydney’s Newtown, says both the hangover from COVID-19 lockdowns and the cost of living have changed the way he and others within the queer community date.

“Since COVID, lots of people have stayed put and online dating really boomed. So, you’re familiar with the same faces, especially in the queer community,” he says. “There’s nothing really fresh, new or exciting … I just don’t put too much time and care into it now – just whatever’s cheapest and easiest.”

Relationship expert and dating coach Samantha Jayne – who ran a dating agency during the aftermath of the 2008 financial crisis – says dating often booms during periods of crisis because people seek companionship during trying times. Dating transforms from a “numbers game” to a search for someone who is worth your limited time and money.

“It’s all about quality, not so much quantity,” Jayne says. “And when you’re with the right person – you’re in a partnership – your cost of living usually reduces.”

Though money seems to be on everyone’s mind, Jayne says men and women can experience the financial pressures of dating differently. “Some women may feel pressure to have the right clothing, make-up, shoes … Many men think they may have to cover all the expenses on dates.”

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Harb says he used to experience feelings of inadequacy around finances during dates, resulting in him trying to prove his worth by paying for everything. However, the casualisation of his recent dates has helped him embrace his financial situation.

“Particularly among younger people there’s an understanding and acceptance that times are tough, and it shouldn’t detract from spending meaningful time as opposed to spoiling your date with material gestures,” he says.

In O’Donoghue’s case, she used to ascribe to the belief that her male date should cover the cost of their first meeting, but says she feels increasingly inclined to split the bill under current circumstances.

Considering the challenging financial climate young Australians are dating within, Kempson says it’s more important than ever to have open conversations about money, including what you can afford during a date. Being upfront and honest about such a significant topic allows people to determine compatibility quickly.

“People can get really awkward talking about money, but I think the sooner we can exercise that muscle of having those dialogues, the less cringe it becomes,” Kempson says. “Unless it’s spoken about, it continues to insidiously function beneath everything.”

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