Ask Amy: Listener wonders why others never stop talking

— Professional Listener

Dear Listener: In my opinion, no — you are not being sensitive, but quite perceptive. This is not surprising, given that you have spent a lot of time not only listening, but paying attention.

I agree that this is tiring and disappointing, although I could imagine during a period of frustration asking your talking companion, “Do you realize that you never express curiosity about me? Aren’t you interested?”

I don’t imagine that making much of a difference.

Full disclosure: Several years ago, my daughter passed me a note during a nerve-wracking social gathering: “Stop talking. Start listening.”

I’ve been working hard to follow this excellent and pithy directive ever since.

Talkers need to train themselves to lob and volley.

My self-training includes your technique: If/when someone asks me an “opening” question (for instance, “Do you have children?”), I supply a brief answer (“Yes — I have five!”), and inquire about them.

Dear Amy: I recently found out from my college-aged kids that when they were much younger (perhaps 8 or 9), they were spending the weekend with my sister-in-law and for some reason she told them their parents (us) were getting a divorce, and if they wanted to talk to someone about it, they could call her.