What do the ‘Dancing with the Stars’ judges really mean?

On Monday’s “Dancing with the Stars,” Gabby Windey and Charli D’Amelio each earned 33 points, tying for the top of the leaderboard. But this wasn’t just a friendly little competition. “Charli is a beautifully trained dancer,” Windey said. “I feel like an imposter.”

How’s that for pointing out an aspect viewers may not have known?

Both were safe, but D’Amelio’s mother, Heidi, was close – with a 32.

Also at the top: Wayne Brady, who got a 33 for his tango.

He complained about his knees, suggesting it’s harder to execute the moves when you’re more than twice as old as your competition (who happens to be trained).

Monday, “legend” Cheryl Ladd (she flinched at the adjective) was eliminated; Sam Champion was saved in the final vote.

The evening’s theme, in case you didn’t catch the preview, was James Bond. There were more tuxedos than you’d find at a prom and plenty of 007 favorites. Jessie James Decker outdid everyone by donning gold paint for her tribute to “Goldfinger.” The commitment was impressive but it also gave us a glimpse at what the judges really mean when they deliver some less-than-enthusiastic assessments. A primer:

“Not your best”: Get ready to go home. If, by the third week, you haven’t shown improvement, it’s not going to get any better.

“I’m just happy to be here”: I know. Don’t rub it in.

“Where you are now, from where you were Week One is night and day”: Yup, this could be closing time.

“You’re one those people the audience just loves”: You’re no good, but you play to the crowd. Nice try, but it will only get you so far.

“I saw a lift”: Nobody is sticking to ballroom rules, but I have to sound like I’m a stickler for something. (This is a Carrie Ann Inaba rant, in case you didn’t know.)

“That was so authentic”: That’s not technically good, but you leaned into the reason you’re on the show. If you have a song you’re known for, expect this assessment when you dance to it. Then, adios.

“You show vulnerability”: Tears won’t correct footwork.

“That lacked a bit of fluidity”: You were practically a statue.

“That was your best dance to date”: The others were horrid. Don’t expect the mirror-ball trophy.

• On Monday’s show (which was filled with rumbas) we also learned how to pronounce “rumba,” at least according to judge Derek Hough. He said it was like the vacuum – “room-ba” – even though others offered alternative takes.
• Selma Blair’s pro, Sasha Farber, must be part therapist. He suggested she dance with a blindfold so she could block out those things that derail her. She did and the pair got a 28.