The gruesome Shraddha Walker murder case has put the spotlight on dating apps. Are these to be blamed and more importantly why is the world moving on to apps over real life? Youngsters from the regi

Mona

From work to social life to shopping to dating, in today’s day, everything is online and almost inescapable. Dating apps are also a given, but the recent Shraddha Walker murder case has raised questions about their safety parameters. Aftab Poonawalla and Shraddha met via the dating app Bumble, which led to a live-in relationship that reportedly resulted in brutal murder. The 28-year-old Aftab has been arrested for allegedly murdering Shraddha, chopping her body into 35 pieces and dumping them at different places in the national capital.

Bumble issued a statement offering condolence to family: “Everyone at Bumble is devastated to hear about this unspeakable crime, and our hearts are with Shraddha Walker’s family and loved ones. We will continue to follow closely and remain available to law enforcement should they request our support.”

Apps over real life

Why is the world moving on to apps over real life? “Where else do you meet people?” asks author-screenwriter Sumrit Shahi. “Once out of college, you don’t want to date people from work and there is no time to meet new people,” says the guy who has been on Bumble and Hinge.

For language trainer Vishal, it’s the lure of the unknown. “Dating among friends or work circle doesn’t give the kick that apps allow. One can choose to conceal or reveal as much or as little you want and take on a new personality, new role, as you want or wish.” Shekhar, who wants to withhold his second name, found himself rather lonely after his girlfriend broke up with him. “I was in a relationship for so long that no one approached me after the break-up, so apps came as a blessing,” says this banker. Same goes for Satvika Kundu, who after getting out of a six-year relationship and moving base from Delhi to Chandigarh headed to apps for meeting new people. “In Chandigarh, it’s a tightly knit circle, you just can’t casually meet people at a bar,” she says.

What do you look for?

Sumrit doesn’t go with a set agenda, “In the worst case scenario it’s an experience, in the best case possibilities are endless. For Vishal, it’s plainly a casual dalliance and the same goes for Tanvi. “I am divorced, and, honestly, had such a bad run that I don’t want to get into another relationship. At apps you find like-minded people who are looking for flings and don’t mind leaving you alone after it.” Companionship takes precedence over hook-ups for Shekhar, “I work in the corporate sector, the rut of weekdays leaves you wanting to chill out over the weekends and you need company.”

Covid restrictions further promoted online hook-ups. “One had all the time for dating platforms at that time,” shares Sumrit. Satvika can’t get over the cringe pick-up lines, but is happy to have found friends. “I met this guy on Bumble and now we meet almost every day,” she says. As for Vishal, who has been on Happn, Tinder, Bumble and Aisle, “On dating apps you can be direct.”

Play safe

Catfishing and ghosting apart, at times dates land you in real trouble. For Piyush, things took a bad turn when his date’s ‘supposed cousins’ looted his wallet, phone and a ring. “I was younger at that time, only 23, and didn’t expect it. Now I have better sense.” To beat the mates who want to pile on, Vishal says, “I make it clear during the first few conversations only that I am broke.”

“Safety while dating online is pretty basic. Meet at a public place for the first date, stalk their socials a bit, get to know the person before you go somewhere private,” says Satvika,

For Shraddha Walker case, she doesn’t blame the site. “They knew each other for long and were in a live-in relationship.” Tanvi banks on hotel security. “Reputed hotels grant you enough safety.” Vishal goes for video chats before meeting anyone, “Talking helps assess a person.”

“We can’t really shut ourselves from it, but can certainly practice safety,” says Gurleen Arora, 26, an entrepreneur from Amritsar. “Keeping your friends in the loop with your whereabouts, carrying a pepper spray, not sharing your personal details or contact details before you are comfortable, are some of things women must practice,” she adds.