Ignorance is no excuse for persistent stereotyping

Question

A number of times, a client has referred to me as my colleague who is of the same ethnic background – though we are from different countries.

Initially, when we were both introduced to this person, they remarked that they may get this wrong, and we all laughed. But it has now happened several times over a long time and I no longer find it amusing.

My colleague and I look different and have different roles in the project. I want the client to be able to refer to us by our correct names – it’s just good manners. How do I put this to them the next time this happens?

Answer

From what you’ve told me in your longer email, some of which we haven’t used, this sounds like a person who can’t be bothered offering you the most basic courtesy. I’ll get to how you should respond to such rudeness in a moment, but before I do, I thought it would be worth mentioning that not everyone who makes a mistake such as this is doing so deliberately, or out of disrespect or willful ignorance. Not initially, anyway.

Dr Raymond Trau is a senior lecturer in the Department of Management at Macquarie University, who researches workplace diversity and inclusion. He told me that when we encounter someone for the first time, we generally don’t have very much information about them. And we tend to plug these information gaps without much careful thought.

“This kind of categorisation often happens when people first meet a new colleague or client belonging to a distinctive group. People tend to rely on stereotypes associated with that group to fill in missing pieces of information about the person,” he explains.

“This form of categorical thinking is an unconscious and energy-saving process and not uncommon in work settings.”