Gex Was Great, But The Re-Release Needs To Fix The Dodgy Dialogue

Well, nostalgia always wins out in the end, and if a 3D platformer like Glover can re-emerge some 30 years after its lukewarm initial release, then there’s no reason why the ever-quipping shades-wearing gecko known as Gex shouldn’t do the same. Limited Run Games have announced that they’ll be rereleasing the first three Gex games, Gex, Gex: Enter the Gecko, and Gex 3: Deep Cover Gecko. The games will be rebuilt in the developer’s own Carbon Engine, which should get them running swimmingly on modern systems.

Now, there are some 3D platformers from the 90s that have withstood the years pretty well. Banjo-Kazooie is still a delight to revisit, and it’s testament to Crash Bandicoot and Spyro that their respective remakes keep the same level designs and environment, merely giving them a lick of paint.

But Gex wasn’t like all the other 3D platformer mascots. He had a lot to say about everything, and was a bit of a 90s pop culture reference machine. ‘I am your father’ jokes, Karate Kid references, James Bond riffs, the works. Where most other mascots stuck to expressive ‘whoops,’ grunts, and other assorted sounds, Gex even had level-specific dialogue, some of which was utterly incomprehensible to a 10-year-old me. In hindsight, lines like “Nice robe, Mr. Hefner” and “I’m lost in Dick Dale’s colon” just didn’t feel directed at kids, despite the game’s ‘For Everyone’ rating. And yet it didn’t feel ‘adult’ either, it existed in a bit of a smartass, slightly edgelordy realm for kids between maybe the ages of 13 and 15, which is probably the very worst demographic to shoot for.

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Gex would get a bit dicey with his dialogue. “A little tongue now, a little tail later” is kinda vile, while uttering “Ahh, Ancient Chinese level” in a stereotypical Chinese accent probably wouldn’t fly today. On the Toon TV level meanwhile, after spinning around in circles on a frozen pond for a while, Gex would shout “Hey, I feel like I’m trapped in Boy George’s pants.” I never got it at the time (because at the age of 10 you don’t get much), but in hindsight I wonder if actually Gex has conflated Boy George with Pete Burns, and his famous campy hit ‘You Spin Me…’ or was it Boy George because Karma Chameleon… and that’s, well, not a gecko, but at least a lizard? Or am I giving it too much credit, and it’s some snide dig at the fact that Boy George is gay?

Half the time I didn’t know what Gex was on about, and his voice and accent jumped about in the manner of a hyperactive child after two bowls of Froot Loops; but the very fact that he had hundreds of lines of context- and level-specific dialogue was fascinating to me, and entrenched Gex somewhere deep in my mind as a 90s platforming icon, right next to the likes of Mario, Sonic, and Crash.

While leaving all that dialogue intact for the upcoming re-release will probably highlight how dated it’s become, something that will really shine with a bit of up-rezzing are the gorgeous levels, particularly in Enter the Gecko. Strong theming was a must in 3D platformers back in the day, and Enter the Gecko’s levels were gorgeous, accessed as channels on a TV that you jumped into (with each channel divided into a couple of stages). There was a cartoon channel, riffing heavily on Looney Tunes of old, haunted mansions and castles on the horror channel, and a Pre-History channel that pitted you against dinosaurs and, uhhh, tribal people wearing masks. On the N64, there was even an exclusive level based on the Titanic as it’s sinking, so you’re swimming around underwater in the engine rooms while the whole level is skewed at an uncomfortable angle (in truth, it’s one of the worst levels in the game, but it was still novel).

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The whole thing had such a 90s ‘late night channel-hopping on cable TV’ feel to it, and there were tons of great graphical flourishes, with rich colours in the foreground, surprisingly detailed skyboxes for the time, and clever little reflection effects. Coming from Crystal Dynamics (of Tomb Raider fame), with the second and third games directed by Dead Space’s Glen Schofield, there was real talent at the young studio, and that shows.

The imaginative visual design seeps all the way down to the monster designs. Some of the boss fights were brilliant (the final one being legitimately terrifying), and each channel had distinctive enemies, such as zombies that you’d smash into pieces on ‘Smellraiser,’ or ninjas who pelted you with throwing stars on ‘Samurai Night Fever.’ Its whole vibe of being stuck in TV iconography during the boom years of cable television was a strong tone, and arguably more evocative than the fantasy and fairytale realms that most other 3D platformers were set in.

Intriguingly, in both of the 3D Gex games, the titular lizard had a separate voice actor for the US and UK versions, so I’m curious to see in the re-release if a) the dialogue gets re-recorded, and b) whether they choose to go with the UK or US voicework. Naturally, I’ll be biased towards my British brethren, but I do genuinely think that the suave ‘Bond’ stylings of the British Gex are better (see: less cringey) than the more zany stylings of the US one, which are not only a tad annoying listening back to them, but also make Gex sound a little ‘stuck in his time.’

Go for suave Gex, and he’s more likely to catch on with a modern audience.

And honestly, while they’re at it, they should cut some of the obscure dicey sex jokes and slimy references to things that people today really won’t care about. There’s actually some nice old-school 3D platforming to be had here that could really benefit from unlocked frame rates and unlimited draw distances that mean level objects aren’t just popping in 10 feet in front of you, but if this is to be a triumphant return for the slick lizard, he’s gonna need to learn when to keep his gummy mouth shut.

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