Don’t be afraid to ‘manage up’ if your boss is a nightmare

“Don’t be afraid to challenge. Bizarrely, toxic leaders tend to value people who stand up to them and challenge them. There are a variety of short courses and books on the topic of difficult conversations; these would be a good place to start learning valuable conversation and negotiation skills.”

But Dr Hastings warns that your challenge shouldn’t turn into an outburst.

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“Control your response. It’s great to be passionate but not angry or upset. If you do feel angry, better to remove yourself from the situation and talk to a coach, mentor or friend rather than your boss.”

As for whether you should stay or go, that’s such a tricky question to answer. Dr Hastings suggested one thing to take into consideration is whether what you’re seeing from your boss is typical of the industry or organisation type. If you moved into a similar role within a similar organisation, are you likely to encounter the same thing?

My advice in situations like this, where work life causes constant worry and anxiety, is generally the same: leave – but only if you can. As I’ve said many times before on these pages, it’s very easy to advise someone else to “just quit”, but often extremely difficult to do the quitting.

Not everyone has the luxury of being able to pull up stumps and comfortably, quickly settle into a new work life somewhere else. And, as you say, the economic situation may only make that possibility less likely.

But if there’s any way of getting out and finding a better job, one where the goalposts don’t constantly change, and leaders take responsibility for their own actions, part ways with this awful boss as soon as you can.

Need some Work Therapy? Email your office dilemma, question or celebrity sighting story to [email protected]

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