A Tribute To Super Mario RPG’s Misunderstood Antagonist

If you’re not familiar with the term ‘Chaotic Neutral,’ here’s a very rudimentary rundown. It originates from Dungeons & Dragons, in which everyone and everything you meet is going to have an alignment, or set of characteristics determined by how they interact with others. Alignment is made up of two dichotomies: law vs. chaos, and good vs evil, with a neutral option for both, resulting in a 9×9 grid of general personalities.

I’ve played a lot of D&D over the years, and while Chaotic Neutral is one of the most popular alignments, it also seems like the most misunderstood. People seem to understand the difference between law and chaos—do I stick to the rules even if they don’t make sense, or do I go out of my way to break them even when it would be easier on everyone to just walk the straight-and-narrow? But so many people who think they’re playing a Chaotic Neutral character are actually Chaotic Evil.

Now, evil here doesn’t mean being a hands-wringing cartoon villain or a psychopathic edgelord (although there’s plenty of that in the D&D community), it just means you’re the type of person who will do whatever benefits you personally. In contrast, neutrality strikes a balance between being selfish and altruistic, and when it’s actually done right, combining it with the devil-may-care “Chaotic” tag makes for some of the most compelling characters I’ve ever interacted with.

That’s exactly what Booster does for Super Mario RPG: The Legend of the Seven Stars, and it’s fantastic.

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If you haven’t heard, the bizarre 1996 SNES classic that lent legendary RPG developer Square (now Square Enix) some of Nintendo’s most famous characters for some turn-based fun, is getting a revival this fall. Watching the trailer from the recent Nintendo Direct, one of the most nostalgia-inducing moments for me was the brief glimpse of the shabby-bearded barbarian with the heart (and IQ) of a small child.

In the original game, Booster’s a far cry from being the main antagonist of the story, but he is the most interesting. To get to him, though, we have to set the scene with the series-standard villain, Bowser, who’s once again kidnapped Princess Toadstool (as Peach was known back then). Mario has come to rescue her, as Mario does. But before they can resolve this most recent but all-too-familiar scenario, a massive, sentient sword plummets from the heavens, flinging our three familiar faces in different directions across the Mushroom Kingdom. While Mario begins to battle the bevy of sentient swords and spears invading the world and Bowser gets all dejected and emo, our princess is in another castle… err, tower.

Specifically, she lands in Booster Tower, run by Booster. In the most unlikely of team-ups, Mario and Bowser, along with their new teammates, bust down the door to mount an offense against its chief resident, but instead of being the heartless barbarian that his bug-eyed stare might suggest, Booster just seems to want to show the princess a good time. Chugging in on a miniature choo-choo, he explains that he can’t entertain his new guests per the norm, because a girl fell out of the sky and into his lap, and he’s bending over backwards to try to keep her happy.

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Eventually, we get another scene of Booster and his equally inept Snifit cronies deciding to throw a party—something that they’ve never experienced, but they know it involves eating something called cake, so they’re in. And then they make it a wedding to boot, because why not? It sounds like a play out of Bowser’s book, but the wedding isn’t for Booster; it’s his misguided attempt at making the princess happy. Not sure why he feels he has to keep her locked on a balcony in the meantime, but I get the feeling critical thinking ain’t really his strong suit. Conversely, he gets cake out of the deal, so his actions end up being both selfless and selfish.

The tower itself is full of unexpected twists and gags, like a chest you can only reach from a convoluted jump from on high onto a seesaw, and a room that will, for a few seconds anyway, revert Mario into his 8-bit form. Since he’s a good guy now and we’ve got to soften him up, Bowser even gets a bit of a Chaotic Neutral moment too, as he clears one of your obstacles by liberating a sad, tied-up chain chomp (asking Mario to avert his eyes, because she’s shy) before promptly turning her into his personal weapon of choice. Aside from Jack Black fitting 42 uses of “Peaches” into a minute-thirty-five love song, it’s my favorite moment for the big galoot.

In fact, all this Chaotic Neutrality must be infectious, because it starts bleeding into the cast as a whole. Just as the wedding’s about to kick off, Mario and Bowser bust in another door, bumping into Peach and making her lose her shoes and jewelry. Despite having the upper hand, they then stay offscreen for an inordinately long time (union break?) while Booster and his cronies learn that crying is something people do when they’re sad and also tastes way too salty. Recover all four items in enough time, and Mario is rewarded with a smooch from his lady friend. Take too long, and she passes him by and we’re treated to this…

… while the princess giggles in the corner like some loon who doesn’t realize she’s just put her boyfriends head inside the mouth of a fire-breathing dinosaur turtle thing that usually wants him dead. Did I mention she’s still held captive and about to be forced into marriage against her will, because we’re still at her wedding while all of this is going on?

In the end, it’s not even Booster who serves as the boss of this zany arc, but his wedding cake, which has come to life despite the two irate Koopa Troopa chefs with exaggerated German accents (don’t ask) having no idea why. It’s actually the first boss in the game that gave me some real trouble, and after I whittled away at ts health and spent way too many HP items to stay alive, Booster actually jumped in to play the hero, as his cronies grab the killer cake and toss it into the air, and he unhinges his jaw and swallows it whole (although, to be fair, he did ask if he could boil the cake before eating it).

So … wedding over I guess. Everybody wins! We got the princess back, and Booster ate a cake (that’s clearly a frosted jack-o-lantern with random candy sicking out of it). And is sentient but being smothered to death by his digestive system. Also, Mario had been jumping up and down on the cake. But Booster is happy, and we all win.

Except for those two turtle chefs, but seriously, screw those guys. They’re clearly Chaotic Evil.

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