The onus is clearly on you to participate in this group chat. What might help you in this situation, though, is being clear about where this expectation is coming from.
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Is the idea that you must engage with this group chat derived from an unspoken (perhaps even an explicit) rule of the organisation? Or could the onus be on you, but also from you? Is there a chance that you’re thinking (or just have the underlying feeling) that because this company has given you a job or pays you a wage you owe them this in return?
It could easily be a bit of both, by the way. You may know this is something your new peers insist on while also feeling the company deserves your compliance, even though you’d prefer not to offer it.
You mentioned having enough going on in your own life and that’s something I, and I know a lot of readers, will relate to. Importantly, your colleagues might relate to it as well. I know from experience that people often add someone (me, for example) to a group chat with no expectations. They do it out of courtesy or with the hope that the person might participate, but only if they have the time or inclination. There’s no assumption and no disappointment if they stay silent.
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If you feel obligated to chat online with colleagues because a prescriptive corporate directive or code demands it, then you have every right to be frustrated. Yes, working closely with your colleagues is enough. Why do you have to double up via an app?
But it may be that your colleagues added you to the group chat not as an oblique test of your team-player credentials, but to demonstrate that you’re a part of the team no matter what. If this is the case, you’ll likely find that your lack of engagement has no bearing on your relationship with them at all – and you can happily let the unread notifications mount!
Work Therapy is written by freelance writer, Jonathan Rivett. You can send him a question by emailing [email protected]
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