Who knew it would be a towel rail that would finally break me?

In the scheme of things, you wouldn’t think a towel rail would be what broke me. You’d think choosing a towel rail would be relatively simple, compared to all the things I’d tolerated during our renovations. And like everyone who renovates their house, there’d been quite a bit to try me.

Beyond the dust and noise and badly timed cold showers, there were unexpected challenges. Like waking daily with giant mozzie bites all over my body because we had no windows, or becoming accustomed to strangers seeing me in my pyjamas because my husband could never remember what tradies were arriving when.

Or cooking in the laundry when we had no kitchen, doing my best to dress it up as an adventure. “Look, family! We’ll use the ol’ 1980s electric frypan of my youth to cook my grandma’s delicious savoury mince!” And there’s no greater proof that memories can’t be trusted than how very unsavoury my grandmother’s savoury mince actually is!

I’m not complaining, though, and I don’t really have tolerance for people who do. It’s a privilege to be able to nurture a house into a beautiful, fresh, brand-new version of its former self. Sure, it’s not easy living in a building site, but all you need is a healthy dose of roll-with-the-punches gratitude, and an appreciation that many people would love to make their house new again, but don’t have the means. Even as I wonder how long it will be until we have a north wall, I feel very lucky.

So I have launched into our renovations with good humour and gusto. I’ve pulled up carpets and smashed up concrete. Painted our fence in 39-degree heat – and a special thanks to the 2000 passers-by who pointed out that I missed a bit (that was extra helpful). All the while seeing myself on The Block, because who hasn’t put together a flat-pack bookshelf and thought, “OMG, I could totally win a home reno show!” I mean, I work hard, I’m pretty handy with a drill and I’m hilarious when sleep-deprived.

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But then I was reminded I lack a fairly critical home-renovating skill: being able to make a decision. Especially under pressure. Especially when there are too many options to choose from. I just can’t do it. I need time, deliberation and quiet moments to ponder and spiral into a world-ending catastrophic situation should I choose badly.

You can imagine the home renovating environment has been quite triggering. Is the colour for this feature wall bold or just really bad? Should we stain the floor something light and natural or dark and dramatic and does that match the cabinetry and which will show up the Labrador hair and what if it turns out to be hideous – and now I need a lie down.

So to the towel-rail incident, and an innocent question from my husband: “What towel rail would you like in the bathroom?”