Two minutes with Danny Katz: Can you give your baby the name of a serial killer?

Q: My wife and I are expecting our first child and tossing around baby names. I’m keen on my grandfather’s first name but, sadly, when combined with my surname, the baby will share its full name with a well-known serial killer. Are we setting our future child up for a lifetime of, “Oh … like the serial killer?”
A.W., Thornleigh, NSW

A: Because you’ve privately shared your surname, I know who this serial killer is, and it’s not one of your lesser, long-forgotten serial killers who you’d be happy to have your kid share a name with – one with just a few kills and no true-crime podcasts.

This is an infamously monstrous serial killer, so it’s a good thing you did the “Check the First Name with the Surname Before Committing to the Baby’s Name” test. Too many parents don’t do this, which is how you get sad, life-troubled people with names like Dwayne Pipe and Ophelia Payne and a paediatrician my cousin used to go to when she was a kid called Dr Peter Files, who probably shouldn’t have been treating kids at all.

Of course, the reverse can happen, too. You can give your child a perfectly innocent name and then some hideous human comes along and ruins it for everyone. I pity all those nice, harmless Adolf Hitlers living a carefree life in the 1930s who suddenly became really uncool and stopped getting invited to bar mitzvahs.

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So no, do not name your kid after this serial killer. If you’re so keen on your grandfather’s first name, use your wife’s surname instead. That’s what my friend did. He was planning on naming his kid Holden because he’s a huge Catcher in the Rye fan, until I reminded him that his surname was Cox. Thankfully, I did the test for him. And saved his kid’s life.

guru@goodweekend.com.au

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